Laugh track
Two friends were seriously discussing....
"Yes, I came face to face with a lion once.
And as luck would have it, I was alone and without a gun."
"What did you do?"
"What could I do?"
"First I tried to look straight into his eyes but he slowly came towards me.
I moved back, but he kept coming nearer. I had to think fast."
"How did you get away?"
"I just left him and moved on to another cage."
Ha ha haa haa...
Teacher : Children, I had taught you the past tense yesterday.
Come on, Bunty, give me one example of a past tense.
Bunty : I...err....Teacher, I was absent yesterday.
Teacher : Very good, Bunty, you may sit down.
I'm glad you understood the lesson.
Hee hee hee hee...
1. Tina: What gift did you get from your grandfather on your birthday?
Rahul: A mouth organ. It's the best present I've ever had.
Tina: Why?
Rahul: My mum gives me extra pocket money every week not to play it!
2. A Mushroom goes to a dance and walks up to a girl and asks
her to dance. "I'm not dancing with you," she replies.
"Aw, come on..." the mushroom says. "Why not? I'm a fungi!" (Fun guy)
Subject jokes
1. Rahul: Dad, will you do my maths for me tonight?
Dad : No, son, it wouldn't be right.
Rahul: Well, you could try.
2. Mom : Why aren't you doing very well in history?
Ranjit: Because the teacher keeps asking about things
that happened before I was born!
Laugh of the day
A foolish man appeared at the box office of a cinema and bought two tickets.
A few minutes later, he returned and bought two more.
After a short interval, when he appeared a third time and offered to
pay for two more, the ticket-seller opened the little glass door and
spoke up: "Are not you the same gentleman who bought two tickets
and two more just a while ago?" he asked, puzzled.
"Yes," replied the foolish man plaintively, "but there is a fool at the
gate who keeps tearing them up!"
Laugh it off
1. Teacher: Where’s your homework?
Boy: I made a paper plane with it and someone hijacked it!
2. Teacher: Today, we’re going to talk about the tenses.
Now, if I say, “I am beautiful,†what tense is it?
Student: Obviously, it is the past tense.
Just for laughs
1. Vijay : Father, can you write your name with your eyes shut?
Father: I think so, Vijay.
Vijay : All right, then, please shut them and sign my report card.
2. Football Manager : You played a great game there, Balu.
Balu : No sir, I thought I played rather badly.
Manager : No, you played a great game for the other side.
Hilarious jokes
1. Teacher : Which is more important, the sun or the moon?
Akshay : The moon.
Teacher : Why do you think so?
Akshay : Well the moon shines at night when it's dark, but the
sun shines in the day when it's bright anyway.
2. Ram : My wife comes from a very large family. How about yours?
Shyam : No, she brought it with her.
Clever jokes
1. A new teacher had a very dirty pupil in her class. At first she
didn't know what to do, but finally she sent him home with a
note to his mother, saying he was not clean and he should
bathe more often. The next morning the boy came back to
school, and pinned to his shirt was the following note: Don't
smell him - teach him!
2. Tailor : Your suit will be ready in two months, sir.
Customer : Two months! But it took god only six days when
he made the world.
Tailor : True, sir. But look at the state the world is in!
Naughty jokes
1. A man started work at the Reception of a hotel. The manager
told him to greet the visitors by their names.
"How will I know what their names are?" asked the man.
"From the names on their suitcases," said the manager.
When the first guests arrived, the man said, "Good morning,
Mr and Mrs VIP Alfa!"
2. Mother : Why are you home from school so early?
Son : I was the only one who could answer a question.
Mother : Oh, really? What was the question?
Son : Who threw the eraser at the Principal?
Just Riddles
1. Anand : What has a big mouth but doesn't say a word?
Varun : A river.
2. Suresh : What has fifty heads and fifty tails?
Mahesh : Fifty pennies.
3. Rita : How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
Gita : In a HEN-velope!
4. Lata : Where's a cow's favourite place to go?
Aditya : Where?
Lata : The moovies.
5. Sachin : Why do hummingbirds hum?
Suraj : Because they forgot the words!
Smile please
Professor : "I take great pleasure in giving you eighty-one in mathematics."
Student : "Why don't you make it a hundred and really enjoy yourself?"
Two friends were seriously discussing....
"Yes, I came face to face with a lion once.
And as luck would have it, I was alone and without a gun."
"What did you do?"
"What could I do?"
"First I tried to look straight into his eyes but he slowly came towards me.
I moved back, but he kept coming nearer. I had to think fast."
"How did you get away?"
"I just left him and moved on to another cage."
Ha ha haa haa...
Teacher : Children, I had taught you the past tense yesterday.
Come on, Bunty, give me one example of a past tense.
Bunty : I...err....Teacher, I was absent yesterday.
Teacher : Very good, Bunty, you may sit down.
I'm glad you understood the lesson.
Hee hee hee hee...
1. Tina: What gift did you get from your grandfather on your birthday?
Rahul: A mouth organ. It's the best present I've ever had.
Tina: Why?
Rahul: My mum gives me extra pocket money every week not to play it!
2. A Mushroom goes to a dance and walks up to a girl and asks
her to dance. "I'm not dancing with you," she replies.
"Aw, come on..." the mushroom says. "Why not? I'm a fungi!" (Fun guy)
Subject jokes
1. Rahul: Dad, will you do my maths for me tonight?
Dad : No, son, it wouldn't be right.
Rahul: Well, you could try.
2. Mom : Why aren't you doing very well in history?
Ranjit: Because the teacher keeps asking about things
that happened before I was born!
Laugh of the day
A foolish man appeared at the box office of a cinema and bought two tickets.
A few minutes later, he returned and bought two more.
After a short interval, when he appeared a third time and offered to
pay for two more, the ticket-seller opened the little glass door and
spoke up: "Are not you the same gentleman who bought two tickets
and two more just a while ago?" he asked, puzzled.
"Yes," replied the foolish man plaintively, "but there is a fool at the
gate who keeps tearing them up!"
Laugh it off
1. Teacher: Where’s your homework?
Boy: I made a paper plane with it and someone hijacked it!
2. Teacher: Today, we’re going to talk about the tenses.
Now, if I say, “I am beautiful,†what tense is it?
Student: Obviously, it is the past tense.
Just for laughs
1. Vijay : Father, can you write your name with your eyes shut?
Father: I think so, Vijay.
Vijay : All right, then, please shut them and sign my report card.
2. Football Manager : You played a great game there, Balu.
Balu : No sir, I thought I played rather badly.
Manager : No, you played a great game for the other side.
Hilarious jokes
1. Teacher : Which is more important, the sun or the moon?
Akshay : The moon.
Teacher : Why do you think so?
Akshay : Well the moon shines at night when it's dark, but the
sun shines in the day when it's bright anyway.
2. Ram : My wife comes from a very large family. How about yours?
Shyam : No, she brought it with her.
Clever jokes
1. A new teacher had a very dirty pupil in her class. At first she
didn't know what to do, but finally she sent him home with a
note to his mother, saying he was not clean and he should
bathe more often. The next morning the boy came back to
school, and pinned to his shirt was the following note: Don't
smell him - teach him!
2. Tailor : Your suit will be ready in two months, sir.
Customer : Two months! But it took god only six days when
he made the world.
Tailor : True, sir. But look at the state the world is in!
Naughty jokes
1. A man started work at the Reception of a hotel. The manager
told him to greet the visitors by their names.
"How will I know what their names are?" asked the man.
"From the names on their suitcases," said the manager.
When the first guests arrived, the man said, "Good morning,
Mr and Mrs VIP Alfa!"
2. Mother : Why are you home from school so early?
Son : I was the only one who could answer a question.
Mother : Oh, really? What was the question?
Son : Who threw the eraser at the Principal?
Just Riddles
1. Anand : What has a big mouth but doesn't say a word?
Varun : A river.
2. Suresh : What has fifty heads and fifty tails?
Mahesh : Fifty pennies.
3. Rita : How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
Gita : In a HEN-velope!
4. Lata : Where's a cow's favourite place to go?
Aditya : Where?
Lata : The moovies.
5. Sachin : Why do hummingbirds hum?
Suraj : Because they forgot the words!
Smile please
Professor : "I take great pleasure in giving you eighty-one in mathematics."
Student : "Why don't you make it a hundred and really enjoy yourself?"
