M for Magnet
Miss Monica was teaching science to her student. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron.
Question time came, and she asked, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?"
A little boy on the front row proudly said, "You're a mother!"
Be back next week
Anju, a little girl, was looking at the yellow ripe mangoes growing in the farmer's garden. "I'll give you two rupees for that mango," said the girl pointing to a large, ripe fruit.
"No," said the farmer, "I can get Rs 10/- for a mango like that one."
The girl pointed to a smaller green one, "Will you take two rupees for that one?"
"Yes," replied the farmer, "I'll give you that one for a rupee."
"Okay," said the girl, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmer's hand, "I'll pick it up in about a week."
Foot in the mouth
A three-year-old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed that the left shoe was on the right foot.
She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet."
He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom. They're the only feet I got!"
Too clever by half
A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."
The friend says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"
The first guy says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!"
Q & A
A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.
On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question?" - Discuss.
After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer."
The student received an "A" for the exam.
Fatal direction
Woman (in the middle of the road): Can you tell me how to go to Shrushti Hospital?
Policeman: Just stand where you are!!!
A quick retort
Well-dressed man to beggar – "Aren't you ashamed to beg in the street like this?"
Beggar – "Do you expect me to open an office for begging?"
Literally speaking
Little boy standing near his fat father, is asked by father's friend: "And what are you going to do when you're as big as your father?"
Little boy – "Join a fitness programme."
Just in jest
Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha (Where Krishna was born)
Train mein TT Sadhu se bola (TT asked Sadhu): Kahan jana hai (Where do you want to go)?
Sadhu : Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha (Where Ram was born).
TT : Ticket hai (Do you have the ticket)?
Sadhu : Nahin (No)
TT : Chalo (Come)
Sadhu : Kahan (Where)?
TT : Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein (Where Krishan was born...Jail)
Christmas wish!
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas.
At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.
"I pray for a new bicycle!"
"I pray for a new Nintendo!"
"I pray for a new VCR!"
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."
To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"
Miss Monica was teaching science to her student. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron.
Question time came, and she asked, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?"
A little boy on the front row proudly said, "You're a mother!"
Be back next week
Anju, a little girl, was looking at the yellow ripe mangoes growing in the farmer's garden. "I'll give you two rupees for that mango," said the girl pointing to a large, ripe fruit.
"No," said the farmer, "I can get Rs 10/- for a mango like that one."
The girl pointed to a smaller green one, "Will you take two rupees for that one?"
"Yes," replied the farmer, "I'll give you that one for a rupee."
"Okay," said the girl, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmer's hand, "I'll pick it up in about a week."
Foot in the mouth
A three-year-old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed that the left shoe was on the right foot.
She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet."
He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom. They're the only feet I got!"
Too clever by half
A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."
The friend says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"
The first guy says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!"
Q & A
A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.
On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question?" - Discuss.
After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer."
The student received an "A" for the exam.
Fatal direction
Woman (in the middle of the road): Can you tell me how to go to Shrushti Hospital?
Policeman: Just stand where you are!!!
A quick retort
Well-dressed man to beggar – "Aren't you ashamed to beg in the street like this?"
Beggar – "Do you expect me to open an office for begging?"
Literally speaking
Little boy standing near his fat father, is asked by father's friend: "And what are you going to do when you're as big as your father?"
Little boy – "Join a fitness programme."
Just in jest
Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha (Where Krishna was born)
Train mein TT Sadhu se bola (TT asked Sadhu): Kahan jana hai (Where do you want to go)?
Sadhu : Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha (Where Ram was born).
TT : Ticket hai (Do you have the ticket)?
Sadhu : Nahin (No)
TT : Chalo (Come)
Sadhu : Kahan (Where)?
TT : Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein (Where Krishan was born...Jail)
Christmas wish!
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas.
At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.
"I pray for a new bicycle!"
"I pray for a new Nintendo!"
"I pray for a new VCR!"
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."
To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"
