Hindi movies and software professionals
Sajan Chale Sasural: Computer professional going to US.
1942, a Love story: Sticking to one company for more than a year.
Dil to Pagal Hai: Staying in India, dreaming of US.
Sapnay: Green card.
Sadma: Rejected H-1(B) Visa.
English with a vernacular accent
DERIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON
NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter.
He will give you the licen.
If you dot know how to fill ,copy from your phriend (dost)applikason.
For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.
1. Last name:
(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dont no
(Check karet box)
2. phust name:
(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dont no
(Check karet box)
3. Age:
(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dont no
(Check karet box)
5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right
7. Number of children libing in the household: ___
8. Number that are yourj: ___
9. Mather name: _______________________
10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no, leabe blank)
11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest kilass attended)
12. Dental rekard:
(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other -__________ Give egjhakt color
(Check karet box)
13. Your thumb imparesson:
____________________________
(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, pleaje do not copy thumb impression also. Pleaje provide your own thumb impression.)
PELEAJE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS
Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dont have le pht hand, use your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand.
NOTE: IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DERIVE. WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS.
Matchless Mr Bean
1. Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the
figure, the answer is 6!!
2. Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet
yet!!
3. Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!
4. Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs
because of a power failure.
Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too…I got stuck on the escalator
for 3 hrs.
5. Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful.. ..is it
one c or two c?
Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!
Funny English!
No wonder the English language is so very difficult to learn.
We'll begin with a box and the plural is boxes.
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
The one fowl is a goose but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a whole set of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of a foot and you show me your feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why should not the plural of booth be called beeth?
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say Mother, we never say Methren,
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis and shim,
So English, I fancy you will all agree,
Is the funniest language you ever did see.
Laugh till you drop
A father and his little son were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo. Father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and junior was taking it all in with a serious expression.
"Dad," the boy said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up ..."
"Yes, son?" the father said expectantly.
"What bus should I take home?" the boy finished.
Doctor: It's most essential that you should refrain from doing head work during the next few weeks.
Patient: Yes, doctor, but it's my living.
Doctor: Oh, are you a scholar?
Patient: No, I'm a barber.
Giggles
Q: What do you get if Batman and Robin get smashed by a steam roller?
A: Flatman and ribbon.
Q: What did the traffic light say to the car?
A: Don't look, I'm changing.
Ralph: (eating his lunch at school) Teacher, I've got a bone stuck in my throat.
Teacher: Are you choking?
Ralph: No, I'm serious.
Teacher: What is the opposite of minimum?
Peter: Minidad.
Mamma mouse was getting food in the kitchen with her baby when the cat pounced in. Snatching up the kid Mamma ran for the mousehole but it was obvious she wasn't going to make it. Finally in desperation she whipped around and shouted "Bark, Bark" at the cat. The cat skidded to a halt and ran away. Mamma mouse turned to her baby and said, "You see how important it is to learn a foreign language!"
A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully said each word right up to the end..."And lead us not into temptation", she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."
